Betrayed By The Man With Many Faces

Betrayed By The Man With Many Faces

He has yet to realize what the true issue was. He has yet to know why I left him, why I had to walk away. Whether or not he really loved me is irrelevant now, as I don’t know who it was I fell in love with.

I gave my heart to a stranger that promised a world of happiness, even though I knew I would have to work hard to trust. This is how it feels to be betrayed by the man with many faces:

He walks in to get coffee and smiles and says hello. He asks me how my day was and mentions he hates the snow. Before he goes he hands me his number that is simple and to the point. His name, his number, and a simple sentence stating that I should call him.

He walks out the door with his bag and his cup of coffee, leaving me feeling flattered and nervous, which in the end makes me feel quite silly.

The shock wears off by the end of my shift and of course I call him once I figure out what to say if he picks up. The phone rings and no one answers. I’m disappointed but relieved that he wouldn’t hear me rambling on like an idiot.

We eventually connect and he invites me over for dinner. A week later he tells me he wants to be with me. This is what it feels like to be betrayed by the man with many faces.

Months go by and the arguments increase in frequency. He makes sure I know how fucked up I am. He makes sure to use the things he knows about me to hurt me. This is how it feels to be betrayed by the man with many faces.

The final days are upon us, I felt it in my gut. He said he loved me with all his heart, not realizing he has already shown me that he may not have a heart. The resentment builds inside of me as I have yet to forgive him for his past betrayal.

How can two people be so broken in such a short period of time. Barely six months into the relationship and already there were 4 breakups and constant tears. I stare at a man that wears many faces, wondering which version of him is real.

Did I ever know the real man? Have I ever seen his real face? He looks at me and smiles wearily and tells me he’s okay. It’s a lie because a few minutes later he is yelling at me and getting an attitude for no reason.

“Is he okay?” I ask myself, knowing he isn’t and has no issues lying to me about how he’s feeling.

He had plenty of time to tell me he was having a bad day, but he chose not to. I asked him if he was okay and he chose to lie to me again. Had he ever told the truth about anything? Is he even who he says he is?

I will never know what was real and what was fake. As far as I’m concerned it was all a lie. Even if he ever bothered telling the truth about who he was, it was only ever one or two things.

His smile that lit my day was a lie, his happiness was a lie, his laughter and the time we spent together was a lie. He never loved me and he never wanted me to love him. He never wanted me to know him at all. This is how it feels to be betrayed by the man with many faces.

I sit alone, tapping away at my keyboard and I realize what he wanted was never clear to me. It was something else he liked to keep hidden. The way he said what he thought I wanted to hear and swore those were his true feelings make me realize just how unlucky in love I am.

I am better off alone. I don’t deserve to be treated this way, lied to this way. I don’t deserve to be in a relationship based on a lie. He couldn’t even tell me how he felt until it was too late.

He had months to be honest, but he chose to lie and hide while I was honest about who I am. He never wanted a partner he wanted someone to torture and torment emotionally. He wanted me for his amusement. Well congratulations, you got your laugh.

This is how it feels to be betrayed by the man with many faces. You never know who you’re speaking to, who’s smiling back at you, who’s inside you, who said they loved you. It was all a lie and dreams of what could be disappeared into the world of pain, sorrow and shattered hearts.

 


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2 Comments

  • Vivian Zems June 1, 2017 at 12:42 PM

    I know this guy! They must breed them all together. A narcissist. Thank your lucky stars you got away! Now you know what they look like. They wear like 6-10 🎭- but eventually the masks fall away – if you hang around for long enough. And they’re so charming!! Have a look at my poem – ‘Unmasked’. Great post 👍🏽

    Reply
    • Shalaria LeNoir June 1, 2017 at 1:16 PM

      Thanks so much for the kind words! And thanks for stopping by to check out this post.

      I’ll definitely give your post a read!

      Reply

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